And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
