The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
