Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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