would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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