the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
