She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
