Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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