Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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