I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
