respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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