I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
