Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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