Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
