I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
