do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
worst night to have a conscience
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
