I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
