he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
