you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
