She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
