so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
