I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize