who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
