The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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