I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
