I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
