I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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