drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
