I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
