a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Where is the hickey?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
