Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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