There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
