so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
