I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
