he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize