i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize