is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Congratulations! We have a period
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