I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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