Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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