Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
