I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
