I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they're like a gay fantastic four
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
