3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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