dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
