My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
