Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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