Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
