i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
