I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
