drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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