What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You ate ashes out of my bong
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
