Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
