Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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