woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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