My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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