therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
